Diary #10

April 27, 2015

“Why did you text me?” is really all I could say. So much hurt and anger from this man. And as I sat there starring into his eyes I saw sadness and hurt. It made me hurt knowing I couldn’t give him what he wants.

Diary #9: Happy Three Year

                                         October 3rd, 2014

Yesterday was miserable. Well not miserable but I guess something a little abnormal. It would have been our three year anniversary. It was a shock that I was so upset. But I woke up this morning with a clearer head. A motivated one. I have never been good at acknowledging my emotions or feelings, but it is a work in progress.

Diary #8: The Brit

January 9,2015

We got our ham, bacon, and cheese bagels and started walking around looking around for a bench. It’s a funny realization that there isn’t any benches in Manhattan. We found some stairs to an entrance of an apartment and talked for a few hours about anything, everything and our funny accents. I must say that I am not too shabby at an English accent and his American accent was pretty on point. “Yo broooooo,” is all he kept saying. He explained to me how he apparently played football for the team called Queenspark Rangers. That was a bunch of bologna but I ate it all up.

I find it pretty rad how people meet. The twist of fate of just happening to talk to that person. Then this connection happens and you guys realize that talking to each other is like riding a bike for the first time; a little shaky, a little nerve-racking, but once you get going you just don’t want to stop.

We never did talk again after that, probably never will. But it is sweet memory of the The Brit who convinced me he was a professional football player. And I am sure I am probably a funny story of the naive American girl who believed every word.

Diary #4: Higher Power

May 25, 2011

I believe there is a higher power. I believe there’s a God. I have so many questions and I’m sure he could give answers but at the same time I don’t know if he’s real or society has made up this God. It’s hard for me. My beliefs have definitely changed.

In high school, I was a class a little 747 churchgoer. I believed strongly in God and he watched over me and took care of me. As time went on I stopped turning to him. So my beliefs I guess never changed… Just my trusting God has varied overtime. I think I want to start becoming consider God. I was always very happy with the Lord of my life. He was the ultimate  best friend.