The weekend brings people together from all walks of life to cast away the week blues and spend hard earned cash on copious amounts of alcohol. This weekend was no exception.
A night out at the bars is pretty routine. Pregame and go to a various amount of bars. Easy enough. Once last call is called it is a quick stop at the donut shop (or McDonalds) to feed the drunk and hungry appetites. This time of the night is often filled with laughter at the night’s events and munching down thousands of regrettable calories. But some nights this time is filled with drunk young individuals with too much testosterone looking for a fight to prove their manhood or something like that. This particular night was one of those nights.
It started with the borrowing of a lighter and before I knew it I was standing there ham and cheese croissant in hand and my mouth was open wide with shock. I just got hit in the face. Majority of it was a blur. Some could say it was my fault for stepping in and trying to break up a fight but it hadn’t even escalated to that point yet. Only some choice words were passed between our two groups.
This short little runt of a guy was yelling past me and when I kindly told him to just go he yanked my hair like my sister used too when we were younger and threw a fist at me. I leaned back to get out of the way of his hand and he
landed it right on my chin. I just got Snookied. Directly after that one of my friends came and threw him to the floor.
Adrenaline rushed through my body. Now my kind words were replaced with a few F-bombs and a lot of waving with my hands. I remember swearing to myself that the next person that ever laid a hand on me would end up with a broken nose. But this wasn’t even the worst part of the night.
Luckily I wasn’t the only one trying to talk sense into these guys. The girlfriend of one of the guys was trying to hold him back from getting into this ridiculous pissing contest. Right when I looked over he slapped and grabbed her in the face while screaming at her to stop. When I saw this I yelled at the boyfriend, “Hey you don’t need to touch her like that!” The boyfriend looked at me with disbelief. Yeah, macho man I’m talking to you, my subconscious was screaming.
But again to my horror the girlfriend stepped in front of her boyfriend turns to me and yells, “Don’t talk to my boyfriend like that!!!” Face palm. This is exactly what is wrong with so many damn relationships.
Relationships are physical. Some of the best kind of relationships are when love is shown physically. Public displays of affection are a surefire way to make anyone feel loved or maybe a little suffocated, so be mindful of which you’re doing. Either way there is absolutely nothing wrong with ‘getting physical’. But the line is crossed when any negative emotion is the driving force behind ‘getting physical’.
It could be frustration or being in the heat of the moment that pushes people to the point of hitting. If that is the case then that person has a short little fuse and is not competent of effectively communicating how they feel. They are children who haven’t learned the appropriate vocabulary to convey their emotions, so they hit.
Whoever it is that is slapping or shoving will always be in the wrong. I don’t care what they did. I don’t care how intoxicated you/they are. I don’t care if they “deserved” it because quite frankly no one deserves it.
I find that often times toxic and unhealthy relationships are justified as passionate. I totally get that, I was in some passionate relationships. I was once passionately shoved into a wall and another time I passionately took swings at my boyfriend.
I looked up the definition of passionate to show that it doesn’t directly correspond to anger. But to my surprise it was exactly that. According to Merriam-Webster, the full definition of passionate is 1a: easily aroused to anger 1b: filled with anger 2a: capable of, affected by, or expressing intense feeling 2b: enthusiastic, ardent 3: swayed by or affected with sexual desire.
I have always defined passionate as intensely loving something or someone and I still think that it is, but we are all so involved with the loving side of passion we forget about the anger side of passion.
To be blinded with love is a real thing. We hold on to happy, positive memories so dearly that we lose sight of those moments of physical or emotional abuse. We rationalize them. We replace them. We move on. Until all of those little moments add up and there is nothing to do but face them straight on.
And where does that leave us? Broken up but free of each other. Ready to pick up the pieces, have a night out with the girls (or guys), and moving on. It is always easier said then done but breaking the cycle of abuse is the only way out. Or you find yourself crying to your friends, swearing they’ll change, and saying you guys are just going through a tough time. When in fact, you aren’t right for each other. Game over. Shut the door. And open it back up when you find that person that loves you immensely, beautifully and whole-heartedly.
Oh and if you are wondering what happened with that girl and her boyfriend? Well, they took their fighting a few feet away where he continued to shove her until someone again yelled at him to stop and feeling embarrassed the girl just went about her way while her boyfriend chased after her… ohhh so passionate.